


separation

by dinosar



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Multi, Separations, oikawa is goin 2 a different college in a different city and everyone's emo abt it: the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-08-07 18:21:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7724941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinosar/pseuds/dinosar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which tooru learns just how hard goodbyes can be.</p>
<p>__</p>
<p>
  <em>He'd wanted to insist on staying with them, the way they were insisting that he had to go. Because he wants to be able to wake up to their faces every morning, to be yelled at by Hajime when he burns the eggs he tries to cook for breakfast, to feel Koushi's soft lips on his cheek before he gently pushes him aside to try and salvage their meal. He wants to cuddle with them on whatever shitty couch they manage to find for their probably too-tiny apartment, taking turns picking movies to watch (and inevitably bickering and insulting each other for their choice in movie). He wants to kiss away the stressed wrinkle in Hajime's brow as he glares down at his homework as if he could set it on fire with his eyes alone, to dance around the house and sing along much too loudly to obnoxious pop music with Koushi...hell, he even wants to do the boring stuff like paying bills and shopping for groceries with them. He wants it all so badly that he physically aches, but...</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He says nothing about any of that, and he decides to go.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	separation

**Author's Note:**

> found this laying around on my computer half done, so i figured i should probably finish it?? i think i originally started writing it because of a prompt i got but i can't find it anymore so whatever, take it anyway
> 
> i need to stop torturing them honestly

The separation that college brings is hard.

 

Koushi and Hajime get accepted into the same university. Tooru's happy for them, he really is, but...it's hard to show it when he faces reality.

 

Reality being that they're going to be able to live together and see each other every day, while Tooru's university is five hours away.

 

He'd applied there on a whim, not really expecting to get in―it's a top university, with a top-notch volleyball team that he'd kill to play for. But he'd been sure that they'd completely overlook a small-town guy like him, so his hopes hadn't been high. He applied to the same universities as his boyfriends, all in the same vicinity, and figured there was a good chance they'd all be accepted to at least of one them and be able to get an apartment together.

 

And he'd been right―he'd been accepted to most of the universities he'd applied for.

 

Including his previously thought to be unattainable dream school, which feels like it's practically a world away from Koushi and Hajime.

 

They'd told him he'd be stupid not to go there, that it was a great opportunity. He knows they're right, and he'd known it then, but...he'd wanted to insist on staying with them, the way they were insisting that he had to go. Because he wants to be able to wake up to their faces every morning, to be yelled at by Hajime when he burns the eggs he tries to cook for breakfast, to feel Koushi's soft lips on his cheek before he gently pushes him aside to try and salvage their meal. He wants to cuddle with them on whatever shitty couch they manage to find for their probably too-tiny apartment, taking turns picking movies to watch (and inevitably bickering and insulting each other for their choice in movie). He wants to kiss away the stressed wrinkle in Hajime's brow as he glares down at his homework as if he could set it on fire with his eyes alone, to dance around the house and sing along much too loudly to obnoxious pop music with Koushi...hell, he even wants to do the boring stuff like paying bills and shopping for groceries with them. He wants it all so badly that he physically aches, but...

 

He says nothing about any of that, and he decides to go.

 

* * *

 

The day for him to leave comes too soon. Koushi and Hajime put on brave faces for him, assuring him that they'll call him every day and skype when they're all free, and that they can plan visits on weekends. Tooru tries to put on a brave face, too, but he's pretty sure he's doing an awful job of it judging by the worried looks they're giving him.

 

“Stupid Shittykawa,” Hajime mutters softly, cupping his cheeks. They're inside of Tooru's room, which looks uncomfortably bare, the sounds of his parents loading their car with all of his stuff a constant background noise. “It's okay to cry, you dumbass. I know you're trying not to, you always get this wrinkle right here when you do.” He gently pokes Tooru in the corner of the mouth to show the spot he's talking about, and then he slides his hand up to ruffle Tooru's messily-styled brown hair.

 

The first choked sob escapes the brunet almost immediately after, and he feels Koushi's gentle hands on his back, rubbing it soothingly. “Mean, mean, Iwa-chan,” he chokes out, hands fisting in his dark-haired boyfriend's soft sweater. “Making me cry when you know how ugly I am when I cry...”

 

Hajime pulls him in, pressing Tooru's head into his shoulder. Tooru think he feels him shaking, but it could very easily just be his own body that's shaking. “Gotta make sure no one tries to hit on you, don't I?” he retorts, trying to sound nonchalant, but the way his voice wobbles and nearly breaks ruins any chance of being convincing.

 

“Hajime...” Koushi says from behind Tooru, sounding pained.

 

“I promised myself I wouldn't cry until you were gone,” Hajime says quietly, the words sounding thick. “Koushi and I agreed that we weren't going to let you see how upset we are, but...I guess we fucked that up, huh?” he finishes, and it only makes Tooru's throat burn as more tears slip down his cheeks.

 

Koushi sniffles. “I was doing so well, too,” he laments, voice cracking the slightest bit.

 

Tooru reaches for him, pulling him into their hug, and Koushi immediately presses his face into his shoulder. “I'm scared,” Tooru admits, breathing shakily. What if they stop loving him? What if his leaving tears them all apart? He doesn't say any of this out loud, but he's sure they understand his fears without having to be told.

 

“There's nothing to be scared of,” Koushi assures him, sniffling loudly. “We love you, and we know you love us. We're going to make it through this, Tooru...you'll see.”

 

Hajime hums, silent tears slipping down his cheeks. “Koushi and I found an apartment, so...just remember that we're only a train ride away. Come stay with us as much as you can,” he murmurs, pressing their noses together.

 

“But don't neglect your schoolwork,” Koushi adds, nuzzling his face into Tooru's neck. “We want you to succeed, Tooru, even if it means you don't get to visit as often as we want you to.”

 

“But don't overwork yourself either,” Hajime mutters, squeezing him tighter. “If I find out that you're pushing yourself too hard, I'm taking the first train I can find and kicking your ass. I'm sure Koushi will back me up on that one.” There's an affirmative hum from Koushi, and Tooru chokes out a laugh.

 

“Alright,” he says tearfully, one hand letting go of Hajime so that he can wipe at his face. “I'll do my best, but I won't overdo it, you worrywarts...” Pulling them both in so that their heads rest on his shoulders, he takes a shuddering breath. “I love you both so much,” he whispers, glad they can't see the fresh wave of tears making their way down his cheeks.

 

“We love you too,” they reply softly in unison, their arms tightening around him. He's going to miss their hugs, he thinks―they have a way of making him feel more loved and secure than anything else, and he's not really sure how he's going to get by without at _least_ one hug every day.

 

As if sensing the sob about to break free from Tooru's chest, Koushi lifts his head to nudge Tooru's nose with his own before he's kissing him, softly and gently as if Tooru is something fragile that needs to be handled with care. It makes his chest tighten painfully―the tenderness with which they're both treating him is almost too much to handle. It makes the fact that they have to separate hurt even more, because he knows he isn't the only one who's going to suffer.

 

And honestly, the last thing he wants is for them to suffer. He'd rather take it all on himself, but he knows that real life doesn't work that way.

 

The whole situation makes him want to throw a fit like some kind of petulant child, but...ultimately, it had been his decision. He'd made the choice to accept the offer, and now, the consequences are his to deal with. He's just...really not sure if it's worth it. But he'd made his decision, and he's going to stick with it. Because although Oikawa Tooru is many things, he's definitely not a quitter.

 

He feels one of Hajime's hands slide through his hair, and slowly, he pulls away from Koushi to look between them. He knows he's probably being ridiculous and overly dramatic, but he feels like he needs to memorize every aspect of them, because he doesn't want to forget anything. Because he's not quite sure when he'll get a chance to see them again, anyway. He wants to soak in as much as he can now, while they're in front of him.

 

“I expect a video call when you two get settled into your apartment,” he says imperiously, even as he sniffles and wipes at his teary eyes. He needs to act more like himself, because he doesn't want them to worry about him more than they already have. “I also expect you two to hang a giant picture of me on the wall beside your bed, so you can see me before bed every night.”

 

“Do you want us to have nightmares? Get real,” Hajime mutters, but his puffy eyes are smiling.

 

“We'll get a cardboard cutout of you to put at the table,” Koushi assures him, a teasing smile on his face that crinkles the corners of his red-rimmed eyes.

 

Tooru turns to Hajime with a pout. “See, Iwa-chan? Kou-chan appreciates me.”

 

Cheeks reddening, Hajime mutters, “I appreciate you too, dumbass...”

 

Tooru's expression softens, a sniffle escaping as he wipes his nose with his sleeve. “I know you do, you big tsun-tsun.”

 

“Watch it,” Hajime growls.

 

Tooru tilts his head down to kiss the tip of Hajime's nose, making his cheeks even redder than they were. Koushi lets out a delicate laugh, and Tooru can't help but turn to kiss his nose as well at the sound.

 

“Tooru, the car is all loaded! We need to get going!” his father calls from somewhere in the house, probably the front door, and Tooru immediately stiffens. He's not ready to say goodbye, not yet...

 

He watches as Koushi's face crumples before he hastily turns away in an effort to hide it, clearing his throat and reaching up to wipe his face. “You'd better get going, you can't keep your parents waiting,” he says, voice thick and wobbly with the tears clogging his throat.

 

Face pained, Hajime reaches out to take one of Koushi's hands, squeezing it, and forces himself to stand a little taller. “Koushi's right, you have to go now if you wanna make it there and get everything moved in at a decent time,” he adds, but he doesn't meet Tooru's eyes.

 

“But, I...” Tooru stops, lost for words. Do they really expect him to leave them while they're this upset?

 

“Don't worry about us,” Koushi cuts in, trying to sound normal but it's far from convincing considering the way he's sniffling and wiping at his eyes. “We'll be fine, Tooru. I promise.”

 

“Look at me, then,” Tooru says quietly, throat burning. Is he ever going to stop crying? “Both of you. Look me in the eyes and tell me you're going to be okay.”

 

Hajime meets his eyes only for a few seconds. “Dumbass, worry about yourself instead of us.”

 

“You know I can't do that.”

 

Koushi finally turns back, eyes red and irritated from all the rubbing. “You need to go,” he whispers, reaching out to card a hand through Tooru's thick brown hair and attempting a smile. “Obviously we're upset, because we love you and don't want to be away from you, but you need to do this. It's an incredible school, and you're going to have so many awesome opportunities there, Tooru. We'll still talk every day, and I'm sure it'll be rough but we'll make it through this. So please, go and make us proud, yeah?”

 

“You can do this, Tooru,” Hajime murmurs, taking his hand and rubbing a thumb over his knuckles soothingly. “We're only going to be a phone call and a train ride away. We'll make this work.”

 

“I just―” His voice catches, and he swallows hard to try and clear the lump from his throat. “I just don't want to have to say goodbye,” he finally finishes, squeezing his eyes shut. He feels soft, slightly cold fingers swipe away the tears from under his eyes, and he knows without even looking that it's Koushi, because his hands are always a little cold. It's things like this that he's irrationally scared he's going to somehow forget when he's away from them.

 

“It's not a goodbye,” Hajime tells him, causing his eyes to reopen. “It's just...a temporary separation.”

 

“Let's not say goodbye,” Koushi says resolutely, wrapping his arms around both of them. “Let's go with 'see you later' instead.”

 

“Okay,” Tooru mumbles, sniffling. “I think I can deal with that.”

 

Hajime cracks a smile. “Come on, we'll walk you out.”

 

Tooru slings his bag over his shoulder and takes a deep breath, allowing them to each take one of his hands. They leave his bare room, weaving their way through the house that Tooru doesn't know when he's going to see again, and finally make their way outside to where his parents are waiting.

 

“Call us as soon as you get there,” Koushi tells him, reaching out to tuck a strand of Tooru's hair behind his ear.

 

“I will,” Tooru promises, leaning in to kiss each of them chastely. “I love you both so much,” he adds, trying his best not to get even more emotional than he already is.

 

“I love you too,” they reply in unison. “We'll see you later,” Koushi tacks on with the smallest of smiles.

 

Tooru kisses each of their foreheads as he pulls them in for one last hug. “Yeah, I'll see you both later,” he agrees, giving them a squeeze before forcing himself to let go. He backs toward the car, watching as they gravitate together, holding each other around the waist. He doesn't take his eyes off of them, not even as he gets in the car and his parents start to drive away. And so he sees it when Hajime's face crumples completely, watches as Koushi pulls him close and tries desperately to comfort him while tears stream down his own cheeks. It makes Tooru want to ask his parents to stop, makes him want to call this whole thing off, but he knows they'll feel terrible if he doesn't go through with it because of them. And so he wraps his arms around his legs, burying his face in his knees, and tries to forget the looks on their faces.

 

“I know it's hard,” comes his mother's soft voice from the driver's seat. “Goodbyes are never easy, baby. But you'll see them soon.”

 

“You'd regret it if you didn't go,” his father continues. “You made the right decision.”

 

Tooru desperately hopes they're right.

 

**Author's Note:**

> might write a sequel in the future if the inspiration hits, bc i could probably expand on this, so be on the lookout for that maybe (and if u have any specific things u wanna see, im all ears)
> 
> as always, i can be found on [tumblr](http://todorokishoutos.tumblr.com), so hmu


End file.
